Real Women Who Said NO To A Marriage Proposal Share What Happened Next


Can you imagine turning down a proposal? That would take some serious… well, balls!

Some women don’t have to imagine it, they’ve lived through it!

They’ve turned them down for a host of different reasons, but at the end of the day, they all knew the decision wasn’t right for them and they needed to take a different direction in their lives.

So take some time out to read some of the craziest, funniest and most touching stories of failed marriage proposals from real people.

You just might learn something!

1.

“We’d been dating long distance for two months when he called me and laid out his entire life plan for “us”. We were to marry. Immediately. I would graduate school, become pregnant a lot while using my (art) degree to support our kids and his suddenly desired career in full time volunteer ministry work. Never mind our religious differences and my already stated intention to remain childless.

He didn’t propose. Propose implies asking. He just stated it as fact and was honestly surprised when I objected.

None of this was in my life plan, at all, nor was it discussed between us prior. He broke up with me very shortly afterward, citing my supposed inability to be a ‘reasonable, rational person’ in light of my rejection of his unilateral propositions.”

2.

“We were 19. He proposed with a cubic zirconia ring and pretended to impress me (and all of our friends) by stating it was real.

In general, he was a chronic liar and cheater. Very insecure and seemed to be the type who wanted to “trap” someone into marriage. I was much more insecure and passive then.

He got married two months ago. Thank God I said no.”

3.

“One guy – we worked together. Never dated until my divorce was final. He asked me to marry him less than 1 months after it was final. Nope. Nope. Nope.”

4.

“We were 19 and in a [messed up] on/off relationship. At the time of the proposal we were off and in my head we were off for good. He came to my house and begged for me to come back including a tear filled proposal. I said no, got out of his truck and went back inside. A month later he told me he was going to be a dad. He knocked someone up around the time he wanted me back.”

5.

 

 

“We’d been dating for three years, having some trouble and he wasn’t interested in making any changes to work things out. He basically broke up with me, turned out I was relieved, then found out he was really just bluffing to ‘teach me a lesson’. When he figured out that I was okay with breaking up, he proposed. Really pissed me off. I actually responded with “I have a date this weekend”. I guess that was a little harsh, but don’t propose out of desperation because you screwed up.”

6.

“He asked me which Indiana Jones movies I liked. I told him the first and third ones were good, but didn’t care for Temple of Doom (this was before the 4th one came out). Right then and there he got down on one knee and proposed to me with the taco he was about to eat. Five years later we’re still dating.”

7.

“I said no because we’re not ready! We’ve been long distance for 3 years now, and although we love each other very much, he knows I won’t marry him until we’re both settled in together. Still, he asks almost three times a week, and it’s become a bit of a laugh for us. He tries to sneak the question in without me noticing, and I add ridiculous conditions to my yes.

I’m sure that when we decide to get married, he’ll be too nervous to actually ask properly. He’ll probably end up farting in bed and threatening to Dutch oven me if I don’t say yes.”

8.

“Two friends in my old high-school clique dated for a couple months when we were all 14. We still remained friends after high-school but the guy never got over the girl, he was scary obsessed. Before we all went our separate ways for college, the dude came out of nowhere and asked me once if we were both single by 30 if I would agree to marry him. He was 100% serious. I said no thanks. I wasn’t interested in him and he did it out of desperation and wanting to piss off his ex, because we were once best friends.

He eventually dated a whole bunch of unstable and (not to be cruel) very unfortunate looking women. He had low self-esteem and didn’t take care of himself after the breakup. He actually married one a year or so before he turned 30. He spent most of his 20s harassing his old girlfriend, and driving by her house playing “their song” on the radio as loudly as possible. Cops were called.

Even at 30, He still stalks his high-school ex-girlfriend/my old friend from time to time and sits outside her place of work staring at her through the window, trying to get her attention. Yet again, she’s had to call the cops a number of times. It’s really awkward for her because she has to explain to her co-workers “Yeah, that’s some guy I dated for 2 months when I was a freshman in high-school… can we get him out of here?”

9.

 

“Turned down one guy because we didn’t agree on how children should be raised. Turned down another guy because he proposed after I had moved on from our relationship.”

10.

“I said no because I honestly was not prepared for such commitment so early and that fast. We have been seeing each other for about a year. I was 22 he was 24 and was always the super romantic kind of guy. Don’t get me wrong I love this but it he was always rushing things way too early and too soon. Luckily he didn’t plan a fancy proposal kind of thing just surprise asked me at home so I had to say no then. It didn’t take long for us to break up eventually.”

11.

“We had been really amazing friends for 5 years. Hooked up in between our separate relationships. Then eventually were truly together for 2 years. I loved him and told him all the time. He never once told me he loved me back. He had been through some messy relationships and said he just “couldn’t say that”. We were wild, but he was wildest. The drinking was the killer. He only got close to telling me he loved me twice. Each time he was drunk, and only said “Come on you know how I feel about you.” I didn’t. I didn’t know if we were just fun or he actually cared.

Then I left, and found someone that treated me better. That’s when he started to really get that I could put up with [him] and still love him like not many could. A few months later he invited me over to talk it out and make things right. He had put together an entire photo album of our years together with a heartfelt letter. He told me he loved me, and was starting to go to AA. I hugged him and told him how happy I was for him and that it was sad we had come to this. Should have kept my mouth shut! He said it doesn’t have to end, then whips out that box. The box you expect to get excited about. But the fear in my heart and the sadness for us… Ugh. I told him it wasn’t a good idea, he needed to get his [stuff] together. I loved him but our relationship was pretty [messed up] when we were together.

Almost a year later I moved across the country. He showed up, drunk at my door out of the blue.

Told me things were bad. His current GF was stealing from him and shooting up. He couldn’t trust her. He wanted to move in with me and make it work. I told him I was so sorry, and that he should get away from that and seek professional help. That he’s obviously drunk and I can’t find a way to make us work – ever – with the drinking. He showed up at my work the next few days drunk, gets kicked out. I loved him but was so mad with him I told him to go back home and leave me alone. He left.

A few days later I get a text saying he’s so sorry. That I was always the one for him. I should be with him as his wife. Then he killed himself. Overdose. I love him, even if we were not the best together. I can never forgive myself for getting angry with him. I always wonder what if I had said yes. Sure we may be miserable, but he would be alive.”

12.

“He was already married, offered to get divorced for me, and asked me multiple times with a ring. I have no idea why in the hell he kept asking. We were coworkers and he saw me as a challenge, I think. So obviously, said no every time.”

13.

 

“He was really drunk and I had never met him before. He bought me a drink and then asked the next girl. St. Patrick’s Day is a beautiful thing.”

14.

“It was simply a ridiculous suggestion. We had been on and off, he hadn’t been speaking to me for months until about a week before the proposal, and we hadn’t discussed even dating again and suddenly he was on one knee with an actual diamond ring.”

15.

 

“It was our third date, he had taken me to a fairly average restaurant (which I can no longer return to), had arranged a whole thing with the staff so there was music and flowers and candles and stuff, the place was really busy and EVERYONE stopped to watch, and when I said no he started crying and had to be taken into the back by a couple of the servers. I was asked to leave and not come back, told I was horrible and cruel, etc. lol.”

16.

“We started dating two weeks into college and dated all through college. It was really REALLY rocky the last year or so. Because I didn’t have an identity outside of “dudes girlfriend” I had trouble breaking it off. So I got a second job, enrolled in 18 hours, and decided I would get a 4.0. This was all done so I wouldn’t see him as much. The fighting decreased because I was too busy with all that to sweat the small stuff.

Well, we stopped fighting because I didn’t [care] anymore. He believed that it was a good sign and popped the question on the way home from his parents house in Chicago. On the plane.

Worst flight ever. It was a good decision because it turned out he already had someone lined up and they were dating within a couple of weeks or so. He got her pregnant I think three months after we broke up.

Poor thing… I remember that she used to call me about their relationship problems, WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT FOR HIS CHILD, because I knew him better than she did. It always struck me as ridiculous that she was carrying his child, but also knew that she didn’t know him well enough to know when he was lying. Who does that? She was beautiful too. Just a wee bit dumb.”

17.

 

 

“I said no because he was an immature, mean spirited man-child who just wanted someone to clean up after him and make him feel important. We had agreed from the beginning that we were both just in it to have fun, nothing serious. He proposed, I declined, he became ill-tempered and critical of everything I did. When I told him I had enough and needed a break from him, he became openly insulting and brought home girls to have sex in the bed that I bought. Best decision I ever made was to say no.”

18.

“Someone I had been dating for two months asked to marry him once. He was needy and clingy and didn’t understand that I was 23 and not even close to being ready and I saw our relationship as a summer fling before leaving to finish school.

He showed up at my apartment after the break up. He stalked and called me until I said I would get a restraining order. Saw him in a restaurant a couple years ago. I could tell he wanted to say something to me but I was happy he left.

We were in two different places in our lives and I never led him on or told him I loved him it was just awkward.”

19.

“I said no because I was 16 and he was 17. We were on a class trip to Europe and he must have felt it was the perfect place to pop the question. He was my first real boyfriend and I was his first real girlfriend. Unfortunately he was really clingy/possessive and I viewed our relationship as a stepping stone. I was never in love with him. When I said no he lost it and told everyone on the trip with us (our classmates and teachers) that I had rejected his proposal and was miserable for the rest of the trip. I tried breaking up with him when we got back home but he wouldn’t let me. As in: he’d scream, cry, and threaten to commit suicide.

I actually dated him for one year after this and acted like an awful person so that he would have to break up with me. Years later he was still sending flowers to my parents house on my birthday and showing up unannounced when he was on leave from the Navy. Eventually I moved and told my parents to never tell him where I live.”

20.

“I turned down my first proposal because of the massive insult it was.

I’d been dating a girl for a year, nothing sexual, but a very romantic relationship. I’d made it clear that I was happy as a woman and that I was NOT transitioning (early on she thought I was either a drag queen or a pre-op transsexual. I don’t look very female dressed).

On Valentine’s she proposed, and as I was sitting in shock (a happy shock at the specific moment), she mentioned that we could have the wedding “as soon as you finish transitioning and the surgery’s healed.” When I said “Excuse me?” she repeated it. I simply got up and walked away.

She’d spent a year deliberately ignoring everything I’d said about being a woman. She ignored seeing me naked the once and in bathing suits frequently. She ignored everything people told her about me. Because in her mind I was transitioning to male.

About a month later, she left town. I think she might be living in BC now, I’ve gotten cards from someone with her first name with a Vancouver postal code. I mark them ‘no such resident’ and return them–the name is unusual enough that I’d know if it was family. Besides, I’m now engaged to someone who actually listens.”

“It was too soon. We had only been dating for 9 months. I liked him, but wasn’t sure that I was ready for marriage. Plus, I was too young. But we kept dating, and six months later moved in together. When he asked a year later, I said yes.

Thank goodness he didn’t make a production of the first (or second) proposal.”

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