Let me just say it straight away that nature is scary. I’m not just talking about lions and tigers and bears. Oh my, oh no.
If there’s one terrifying thing about nature, it’s that there are things lurking out there that are far worse than your worst nightmares. Yup, there’s nothing you could dream up that would even come close to rivaling the horrors that mother nature has dreamed up.
Don’t believe me? Who came up with dinosaurs and sabre toothed tigers?
All in the past? Well who came up with scary diseases and poisonous plants and flowers? Exactly!
Nature is all around us, and if you think it’s all flowers and buzzing bees and sunshine, you’re wrong. It’s ready and waiting to pounce on you!
Still don’t believe me? Take a look at these real life monsters!
1. Is that a rock with guts? It’s almost exactly as bizarre!
This living rock is called pyura chilensis and it is one freaky deaky mother. It really is a living rock because it’s completely immobile. It eats by sucking in water and filtering out the micro organisms in there.
Its blood is clear, and secrets the metallic element vanadium, but the weirdness doesn’t stop there. Every one of these things is born male and becomes a hermaphrodite when they reach maturity. Then they reproduce by tossing clouds of sperm and eggs into the surrounding water and hoping they bump into each other! Eww!
2. Ever wondered why snake venom is so deadly? Well, this is what it does to your blood!
Did you notice that was from just ONE DROP of venom from the Russel’s viper? No wonder that stuff is so dangerous!
3. OMG look at the freakin’ SIZE of that thing!
That right there is a coconut crab and yes they really are that big, they’re the world’s biggest land crabs. They live on islands in the Pacific and Indian oceans, and can reach 3 feet in leg span.
A group of coconut crabs was called a ‘nightmare’ by a very sensible person, since they can get big enough to attack and eat chickens and kittens! Lock up your pets when there’s a nightmare around!
4. This lovely sight is due to the cymothoa exigua, or the tongue-eating louse
This parasite enters the poor fish’s body through the gills, and then attaches itself to the fish’s tongue. It then eats the tongue, attaches itself to the stump, and lives there forever.
That sounds pretty gosh darned grim if you ask me.
5. Nothing to see here, just your average shark inside a shark
Researchers from the University of Delaware baited their line with a small fish, which a 3 foot long dogfish swam up and ate. Moments later, a large female sand tiger shark swallowed the dogfish!
Well, that gave me the shivers.
6. Baby birds are sweet and defenceless, right?
Not the fulmar chick! When threatened, these chicks vomit up a sticky and smelly orange oil at the predator. Kinda horrible, right? You haven’t heard the half of it!
If that predator is a bird, the oil vomit stuff sticks its feathers together so it can’t fly. So it will probably go to wash the stuff off in the ocean. Then it will find that the orange oil has caused it to lose its buoyancy, and unable to fly away, it will sink and drown! How evil!
7. Oh my goodness what fresh hell is this…
That folks is a tarantula that has been infected with a parasite called cordyceps. This parasitic fungus slowly will replace every tissue inside the spider. Some species even have mind control abilities, and when they spread to the brain, they can turn creatures like ants into zombies that will spread their infection.
Dang, nature is scary! Would you put that thing on your hand? For a million dollars? I didn’t think so, me neither!
8. Back in 2006, the German city of Hamburg had a strange and disgusting mystery on their hands
Over 1000 toads swelled to 3 times their usual size, and then exploded for no apparent reason. Locals were worried there was a new virus spreading amongst the city’s wildlife, until the real reason was discovered.
In fact what was happening was crows in the area had worked out not to eat the toads because of their toxic skin. So instead, they pecked the toad’s liver out and ate that, leaving the toad alive… for a short time.
9. You’re probably more scared of sharks than of cows, right?
Why? Every year, sharks kill about 10 people. Whereas 100 people are killed by cows stepping on them! Old MacDonald had a farm… HAD a farm… the cows dealt with old man MacDonald…
10. I wouldn’t suggest you shave most animals, but if they do get shaved, they look pretty hilarious
But not bears! No more friendly fuzzy Winnie the Pooh, you get this freakin’ horror! Kill it! Kill it with fire!
11. This little feller is called the ‘horror frog’, and for a good reason
It will actually break its own bones in order to produce claws, which then puncture their way out of the frog’s toe pads. Sounds horrific indeed!
12. Soooo… this is a blanket octopus… take a good luck because you’re never gonna see one again…
There’s a jellyfish you might have heard of called the Portuguese Man O’ War. One of the most deadly poisonous creatures in the ocean, right? The blanket octopus isn’t scared of it. The blanket octopus is immune to its stings… the blanket octopus will rip off a Man O’ War’s stingers and use them as a whip to kill anything that comes near it! I’m being serious here!
Wanna know how it breeds? No you don’t, but I’m gonna tell you anyway! The male rips off a testicle and gives it to a female like a present! I think I might puke…
13. We’re talking War Pigs here, and Ozzy Osbourne is nowhere to be seen!
As you can see from this medieval painting (kinda) war pigs were used in ancient warfare as a countermeasure to war elephants. Yeah, those are meant to be elephants on the right, can we just get past that please?
Anyway, it turns out that the elephants were scared of the pigs and their squeals. So how do you get a pig to squeal more, in the middle of a medieval battle? You light it on fire, of course.
14. If you’re squeamish about eyes like me, you will DEFINITELY want to look away for this one!
This poor woman attended hospital with a painful eye complaint, only for doctors to discover that a botfly larva had decided to nest itself under her eyelid!
Arrrrrrgh! Add that to my list of worst nightmares!
15. Maybe you’ve heard before that sharks always replace their teeth
Yup, they keep growing throughout the shark’s life and are being constantly replaced.
That’s because they’re not actually teeth at all. They’re scales.
16. This monstrosity is a type of piranha like fish called a pacu
It’s mostly found in South and Central America, but also in Europe. Somebody spotted them feeding on tree nuts and joked that with those teeth they could feed on… you know, a man’s… erm, nuts.
It became something of an urban myth, but hey… stranger things have happened.
17. These things are flatworms, but what the heck is going on here?
Well, when flatworms mate, two males will fight it out. Using their penises as swords. Yup, those white things are their fork-like penises, which they use to ‘fence’ with one another. The winner is the one who stabs the other with their penis. The loser? Well, the loser becomes female.
Yikes. Who’d wanna be a girl, hmm? Especially a flatworm girl!
So which of these totally natural facts do you find most stomach churning? Let us know with a COMMENT which you find to be the most horrific fact, and don’t forget to SHARE this article if you’re the sort of weirdo who enjoyed it!